lawn mower racing and the million dollar question
i know that seems a little random but stick with me on this....so im watching a documentary on lawnmower racing. That's right...it's a sanctioned sport now. I never dreamed back when i was popping wheelies on my ole snapper rear engine and trying to beat my brother who was on the older murray walmart lawn mower that our game of redneck fun would become a sanctioned, sponsored sporting event.
National Lawn Mower Racing Association...(NLMRA)
so im watching this white trash version of sports center and the documentary was talking about the in's and out's of this ever growing sport.
it gets good now...
they profile this dude who had just won the NLMRA championship and they show him crossing the finish line...one hand is on the wheel the other is flailing being him as he is waving his opponents off celebrating. His hand gets caught in the chain drive shaft and quickly turns his finger into a bloody nub.
Now that are all of us are peering in close to this white trash drama...check out what happens next...
all of his inbread family start looking around the lawn mower for the missing finger...its somewhere in the grass...he's walking around holding his nub and cursing about his missing finger...there is a frantic search for his finger...all of a sudden his wife/sister says,
"well which finger was it?" with all the slang and redneck she could muster up...
ok...are you serious mamm? which one...? really...is this your attempt to be helpful? do you honestly think that your questions is going to expedite this process any faster.
now i think she truly believed that she was being logical and helpful...BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE.....ANY FINGER THAT YOU FIND IN THE GRASS IS GOING TO BE THE RIGHT ONE!...well which finger wus it...LIKE THAT IS GOING TO MATTER! THERE IS NOT AN ABUNDANCE OF FINGERS LAYING AROUND IN THE FREAKING GRASS!
like someone is gonna pick up ring finger and say "there she is...found it" and the Lawn Mower champion is gonna say...no it was a pinky...keep looking. I guess in that fountain of Knowlege... aka... captain logic, really thought..."hey, here is a good question to ask...if we can determine which finger was actually cut off then we'll be able to weed throughout all the other fingers out here and end this tragedy...
the worst thing about it all was that the nubby winner actually told everybody that it was his forefinger...so everyone narrows down their search to only forefingers...found it and got it sewed back on.....he's still racing today.
true story.
posted by hansen @ 6:28 PM
16 Comments:
HANSEN!! i never knew u were so funny. this post made me laugh so hard! "his wife/sister says"... what the? maybe they were just concerned about which finger b/c they knew if it was his pointer or middle then he would have to start smoking his cigarettes all ghetto w/ his thumb like he was toking??
well glad we could make you laugh...i need a laugh after this weekend
well glad we could make you laugh...i need a laugh after this weekend
HAHAHA!!
YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! That has got to be the dumbest, but the most hillarious, thing I've ever heard of. What's next? Some internet site where you can sign up to type out your random thoughts and opinions about things in an attempt to escape boredom. Oh, my bad, THAT'S US, LOL!!!!!! Where do folk come up with this stuff?
People IN the south give people FROM the south a BAD NAME. I swear half of America still thinks everybody from the Carolina's are like characters from the movie, Deliverance (did I spell this right, thus I show my Southern ignorance). THIS IS A SAD! LOLOLOL!
you are right brian...this is the place for stupid thoughts and stories...
andrea...i think that the NLMRA has its headquarters in MT. Holly NC
ironically, Deliverance is set in Georgia...go figure.
Are the lawn mowers sponsored?
Do they weed eat around the infield when the race is over?
I always ask too many questions... I apologize.
Hilarious story... and even better when told in person. You got the voices down my friend.
are your fingers broken?
& happy b'day!!! may ur 25th or 26th year (sorry i don't know how old u r but i'm guessing one of these) b ur best ever...
amber thanks for the birthday comment...no they are not...just been to busy to put anything up
ah yeah sorry about the sarcastic comment. i did that yesterday before andrea told me it was ur b'day and i would never say anything mean to the b'day boy!
hi hansen. funny story... even funnier, i'd pay to watch it.
ok not pay, because i'm broke. but you get the idea :)
i was randomlly surfing around EC people's blog today, and since you might remember me from Mountain Gap, I thought I'd say hi.
hi :)
hi brandy...yes i remember you...hows life?
update your fricking blog
ok ok...its' being updated
Post a Comment
<< Home