What's missing in CH CH...?
URIt's that kind of clever thinking and inspiration that makes me want to just whip my car around in the middle of road and drive back to that church and become a member for life.
Church signs...mmm. here we go
1) If you don't like the way the cookie crumbles, then try the bread of life.
-ok i get that Jesus is the bread of life...i also get that using the two words 'cookie and crumble" is a semblance of a familiar phrase. But what do cookies crumbling and bread have to do with each other...apparently some genius down hwy 19 41 in Ga thinks that merging old sayings and scripture together is gonna make me make a serious decision about my spiritual walk...
2) God Loves Knee Mail
- no he doesn't. because He don't know what it is...neither do i or the rest of the world that are driving by your attemp at a thought provoking billboard. oh...wait...it's supposed to sound like email...but not quite, take off the e and slide in the knee and its a way to say that god loves it when we pray...wow that is so inspiring...let me pull over right now and give God some of that "knee mail" that He is so found of.
3)Have your faith lifted here.
-what are we making fun of people with hair lip speech impediments who cant properly pronounce the word "face"? Are face lifts so popular and common that its effective to use cosmetic surgery jargon to draw people into the church...? I guess it is on Dallas Chrville Hwy.
4) Welcome Pastor Bean! Let's Plant a Bean and see if it Grows!
-no joke...this came from a little place called Mt. Holly NC. I would love to have been able to sit in on that meeting when someone came up with this little jewel....just to be able to see the wheels turning as people actually thought that this would be something that might draw people into their church. I don't want to receive ministry from Pastor Bean now. Anyone who does not ixney (pig latin...icks nehy) this kind of silliness is not speaking into my life.
Why the clever, cute phrases? why the play on words? just tell me what time your services are and i'll decide if i want to visit or not...what's missing in st pid? U ...thats what these signs are and they are also representing you and your congregation.... give me the info and you keep your pearls of wisdom to yourself.
posted by hansen @ 2:33 PM
26 Comments:
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great phrase don.
lol hansen u should write books. this was my favorite lol worthy -
"2) God Loves Knee Mail
- no he doesn't."
i don't read signs on the road, i only have one eye i would wreck but i'm glad the rest of u do, that makes me laugh. u know apparently the bible and chicken soup for the soul with cute phrases walk hand in hand.
[oh yeah 1st]
Hansen, as always, you crack me up! Don't forget about the beautiful messages we are blessed with at Revival Tabernacle. Keep us posted on some of them...
Here's one for ya...
"CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'VE WON A TRIP TO HELL, YOU CAN THANK YOUR PARENTS FOR ENTERING YOU. IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, INQUIRE WITHIN."
My personal favorite is "Where will you spend enternity, smoking or non-smoking".
Another...."Having trouble with truth decay, brush up on your Bible".
Another....."Tired of the heat? Come on in, this church is prayer conditioned".
I see these things sometimes and I'm like, do you people really think these are cute or will really attract a non-believer? Kind of gives Christianity a dorky feel.
oh i saw this one at my former church..."check the orginial text message" i just hung my head in shame....
its funny because we all agree that these things are stupid and not practical but where are the people who actually come up with them or endorse them? do yall know anyone like that?
I want to plat a bean. Where do i go to get one of those. I really feel like it will help me through this situation.
*plant
"If you're knees are knocking, kneel on them!"
And, this is a two week combo:
Week 1: "What sin does God hate the most?"
Week 2: "Homosexuality"
Some of these signs... at least to me... seem like they are trying to make you feel guilty in order to get you through the door. Doesn't seem like an effective way to reach folks to me.... but then again what do I know?
leah, those are pretty bad...
folks i have seen more since i posted this one...
"forbidden fruits create many jams"
andrea...that is too funny about the f/u
bird...tell ben that if he don't like the way the cookie crumble's then try the bread of life...
andrea...we should go out with a carton of eggs and when we see stupid signs...just let them fly...what s sad is that we would prob. run out of eggs before we left gaston co.
i just saw one that said give satan an inch and he will be a ruler. so hilarious
I can't pass this up...every week in town this church puts up these types of sayings and I think that you should continue to take comments on this forever. Currently the sign reads
"The best vitamin for a Christian:
B1"
And in Georgetown, SC there is a giant billboard that says, "Turn to Jesus or burn in Hell". It's been there for years (ask Kirk McConnell). Made me rush the altar!
b rock: did you pull over and repent?
deb: you know that you recive a blessing everytime you read one
kathy: i bet you and kirk have seen some real good one's over the years in G-town...wonder if chuck B. has a good one on his new church?
HANSEN those Jesus Video's are absolutely killing me!!
"walking in the dirt. ooh, there's a rock."
"no peter, i only told you i was playing hide and seek so you would leave me alone" LOL!!!
i'll blog on them
"Wal-mart isn't the only savings place." 2 miles from me right this very moment.
seth that is the best one i have ever heard....and now that you mention it it seems like ive seen it somewhere...wow...i wish you would take a picture of that and email it to me
I just watched the Jesus videos. How could you post something like that? Seriously, hilarious. You can't take those chinsy Bible movies seriously anyway. My favorite is the list of sins committed by the group (not wearing the WWJD bracelet) and then the passing of everlasting judgement on them. These are actually pretty poignant, given all the half-baked views of Jesus that have abounded. And the soft little voice of Jesus - Mr. Wimpy Meekness. Good stuff.
out with it Hansen! where is the new post?
i hope you attend holy week night erin
Okay, I know we have successfully beaten the dead horse here but there is a church up the street with a sign that says "Read other side". That's it, there is nothing on the other side.
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