1992 called...
and said that they wanted their shirt back.That's what i told a 4th grader at camp who was sporting a tye dye shirt. Dont worry, he didnt get it, nor was he offended but inside i had to chuckle cause i knew that little quip was right on the money.
Okay, okay...that was a little mean...
It's not a habit of mine to pick on kids about their clothing nor do not consider myself some sort of fashion guru but i think that i have a decent handle on what is semi fashionable and what is not and that there should be some simple guidelines for one's dress/attire out in a public venue.
1) Stretch Pants:
What a wonderful invention. A material that can stretch so it fits smoother to your body...not so much. Stretch Pants/shirts/whatever are great if the subject entering them is able to do so with out maximizing the stretchy material. This is not intended to be offensive to bigger boned people( last time i checked im pretty big boned my self so this applies to me too). The purpose of the material is to make clothing more comfortable and flexible, not to be justification to purchase clothing at a smaller size. Also this stretchy material is not a magic cloak from a harry potter movie that makes your extra lumps and humps(black eyed peas) invisible. Its all still there and no one wants to see it. Guys, stetch shirts dont make you look muscular either, muscles make you look muscular.
2)Words on Butts:
Girls, im glad that you like to "Cheer," or went to "Myrtle Beach," or think you are "Hot Stuff," or even shop at "Hollister," but why do you insist on telling me about it on your butt? I know this is somewhat crude language but it needs to be addressed. We men have a hard enough time keeping our eyes where they should be without having to avert these walking bill boards written on a 14 yr old backdrop. That's just not cool. But what's worse than that is when the backdrop is not so easy on the eyes. Some back drops dont need to bring any extra attention to themselves. And chances are if the background for these mini billboards(or not so mini in some cases) is not appealing then neither are the legs that they come from. Thus resulting in a bad memory altogether. So ladies, no matter what response your backdrop will bring; appretiation or gag reflux...either way, just leave those cute little Word Butt shorts on the shelf.
3) Middle Aged Makeover:
Mamm, Im sorry but that shirt has an age limit on it. If it has cutsy words or phrases written on the front with sparkles and sleeve rings then you cant purchase it unless you are under 27yrs old. There is nothing like seeing a 47 yr old woman try to dress like she is 15. Unless your name is Sheryl Crow then just stick with the "mom jeans" and the sweater vest. And men, you are not fooling anyone with those carpenter/cargo jeans and that American Eagle shirt and your nike shoxs. Your face is old. You cant hide that. First of all carpenter/cargo jeans are out of style so you are just telling us that you are attempting cool and your pants are saying otherwise. Just go to your local golf pro shop and buy nice slacks and polos...its gonna cost you but you should be able to afford it by now.
posted by hansen @ 12:46 PM
17 Comments:
"cute little Word Butt shorts" lol! Good points Hansen, I would like to point out that none of my shorts have words on them. and thank you for being honest about the fact that it is frustrating for guys.
& no doubt on the stretchy pants. there's nothing like going to the gym and being beside some dude on his bike running with his stretchy pants on that soak all the sweat from his "bottom areas" the whole thing is just embarrassing for everyone.
bravo. a+
Ohmygosh that was funny! I have no clue what sleeve rings are though, Hansen. Seriously, are those the little cuffs or something like that? I've never been a fan of words on the booty as well. No matter what message you decide to wear on your booty, it's a bit tacky! As far as those cargo pants, I thought were still cool, but what do I know! I don't follow men's fashion too closely. Great post, it made me laugh!
yeah right...you know you make a habit out of making fun of little kid clothing... :)
yeah...i'm laughing w/ amber on the the shorts that have words on them....out of control...girls say they want respect...but how can the expect a guy to give her that when she's got a sentence to read on her butt....seriously....
mom jeans. i don't care how old i get...i will NEVER wear them. that's all.....
fist of all let me thank Nate Marriner for some inspiration on this topic.
Jones: you are fine, buy what you want to...you look 19
amber: you know you have those myrtle beach butt shorts
celeste: you know how those little punk rocker shirts have the retro looking rings around the sleeves and neck..? thats what we are talking about
candice: you will wear mom jeans and you will have a sweater vest
So what about girl's shirt's with the "breast" logos? you know the ones....they are purposefully designed to draw attention to women's chests. those are just as bad to me. I remember that being the topic of conversation at EC a couple times.
I used to joke some of my girlfriends and say "Why don't you just wear a shirt that says 'Look here'." Not that guys need incentive to do so, but it's the whole eye aversion thing...same thing as "CHEER"
Hansen likes the breast shirts. Having words to read keeps him from getting in trouble. He was looking at the writing on her chest, that's all, LOLOLOL. I have a problem with women wearing these sweaters or tops that go on top of something else except they look like they've been shrunk in the washer. Those sweater come up to right below the boob line and tie in the front. It looks like you're wearing a childs sweater on top of your shirt.
Hansey, I sent you an email with the requested info. Let me know how it goes. P.S. Great update. Guess it's my turn now.
you want to see old women dressing like they are in their mid 20's come to south florida, i have seen some O L D skin that would make you want to puke!
i won't do it...i just won't.
we should make some brownies...it's been a while....
I just finished the first season of Smallville on DVD and I am in the middle of the second one now...I LOVE it!
barret: we are talking about the same kind of shirt...i must not have described them well
deb: painter and carpenter are the same thing...i did mention them
erin: go ahead and steal it, it happens all the time just ask debbie and amber
brock: im sorry you had to see that
andrea: those shirts speak for themselves
I always look forward to reading your posts. They make me smile. My mom, who is 66 just discovered Gaucho pants. I think they are so cute but not so much on her. She just looks like she is trying too hard to not be 66. I feel bad for her so I'll never tell her, and I will never tell her that, even though she may have cool pants, she hasn't bought the shoes or shirts that are equally as cool.
This is funny stuff. "Muscles make you look muscular" is the icing. My encouragement to all young ladies within my sphere who might wear something for cheap attention is to never give a guy an opportunity to make an assumption before conversation. Otherwise she's "committing pornography," as Ed Young puts it.
ed young is AMAZING....i love the way he puts things....
Virginia Beach, to answer your question.
LOL good call man
So, do you think there's a problem with this 31 year old mom of five wearing t-shirts that say, "Precious" or "Spoiled Brat"???? Hmmm... Time to purchase a new wardrobe.
Here's another to add to the mix. I've been working out for about thirteen years, mostly in gyms (at home as of late). About a year or so ago, I started to notice girls (mostly teens or barely out of the teens) wearing their knit shorts with the waist bands turned down. It wasn't long before women even my age were doing the same. Now girls, do you expect anyone to think that those shorts that are already quite short are so cumbersome that you need to make such adjustments. It really shouts, "I'm an attention seeker!!! Look at my butt!!! Stare at the lower half of my body!!" And moms and dads, have you completely lost your minds to let your girls do this??? Sometimes, I really want to shake some dads and say, "Why on Earth don't you talk to your daughter and tell her that she's a walking advertisement?"
hysterical
funny stuff
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