lawn mower racing and the million dollar question
i know that seems a little random but stick with me on this....so im watching a documentary on lawnmower racing. That's right...it's a sanctioned sport now. I never dreamed back when i was popping wheelies on my ole snapper rear engine and trying to beat my brother who was on the older murray walmart lawn mower that our game of redneck fun would become a sanctioned, sponsored sporting event.
National Lawn Mower Racing Association...(NLMRA)
so im watching this white trash version of sports center and the documentary was talking about the in's and out's of this ever growing sport.
it gets good now...
they profile this dude who had just won the NLMRA championship and they show him crossing the finish line...one hand is on the wheel the other is flailing being him as he is waving his opponents off celebrating. His hand gets caught in the chain drive shaft and quickly turns his finger into a bloody nub.
Now that are all of us are peering in close to this white trash drama...check out what happens next...
all of his inbread family start looking around the lawn mower for the missing finger...its somewhere in the grass...he's walking around holding his nub and cursing about his missing finger...there is a frantic search for his finger...all of a sudden his wife/sister says,
"well which finger was it?" with all the slang and redneck she could muster up...
ok...are you serious mamm? which one...? really...is this your attempt to be helpful? do you honestly think that your questions is going to expedite this process any faster.
now i think she truly believed that she was being logical and helpful...BUT FOR GOD'S SAKE.....ANY FINGER THAT YOU FIND IN THE GRASS IS GOING TO BE THE RIGHT ONE!...well which finger wus it...LIKE THAT IS GOING TO MATTER! THERE IS NOT AN ABUNDANCE OF FINGERS LAYING AROUND IN THE FREAKING GRASS!
like someone is gonna pick up ring finger and say "there she is...found it" and the Lawn Mower champion is gonna say...no it was a pinky...keep looking. I guess in that fountain of Knowlege... aka... captain logic, really thought..."hey, here is a good question to ask...if we can determine which finger was actually cut off then we'll be able to weed throughout all the other fingers out here and end this tragedy...
the worst thing about it all was that the nubby winner actually told everybody that it was his forefinger...so everyone narrows down their search to only forefingers...found it and got it sewed back on.....he's still racing today.
true story.
posted by hansen @ 6:28 PM
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