What's missing in CH CH...?
URIt's that kind of clever thinking and inspiration that makes me want to just whip my car around in the middle of road and drive back to that church and become a member for life. Church signs...mmm. here we go
1) If you don't like the way the cookie crumbles, then try the bread of life.-ok i get that Jesus is the bread of life...i also get that using the two words 'cookie and crumble" is a semblance of a familiar phrase. But what do cookies crumbling and bread have to do with each other...apparently some genius down hwy 19 41 in Ga thinks that merging old sayings and scripture together is gonna make me make a serious decision about my spiritual walk...2) God Loves Knee Mail- no he doesn't. because He don't know what it is...neither do i or the rest of the world that are driving by your attemp at a thought provoking billboard. oh...wait...it's supposed to sound like email...but not quite, take off the e and slide in the knee and its a way to say that god loves it when we pray...wow that is so inspiring...let me pull over right now and give God some of that "knee mail" that He is so found of.3)Have your faith lifted here.-what are we making fun of people with hair lip speech impediments who cant properly pronounce the word "face"? Are face lifts so popular and common that its effective to use cosmetic surgery jargon to draw people into the church...? I guess it is on Dallas Chrville Hwy.4) Welcome Pastor Bean! Let's Plant a Bean and see if it Grows!
-no joke...this came from a little place called Mt. Holly NC. I would love to have been able to sit in on that meeting when someone came up with this little jewel....just to be able to see the wheels turning as people actually thought that this would be something that might draw people into their church. I don't want to receive ministry from Pastor Bean now. Anyone who does not ixney (pig latin...icks nehy) this kind of silliness is not speaking into my life.
Why the clever, cute phrases? why the play on words? just tell me what time your services are and i'll decide if i want to visit or not...what's missing in st pid? U ...thats what these signs are and they are also representing you and your congregation.... give me the info and you keep your pearls of wisdom to yourself.
Southern Trinity...
I love the trinity. The God Head three in one...Father,Spirit, Son. (thanks chris) But that's not the trinity that we are gonna look at right now.
The southern trinity has three distinct parts as well but in some weird way they are all one...it's almost as difficult as explaining the God head trinity.These three are kinda like the olympic rings...Separate yet all magically joined together.
what are the three parts you may ask?
Country/Redneck/Whitetrash ---all different yet related. cousins, if you will.
There may have been times where someone did something that caused you to want to throw one of these southern titles at them but you just were not sure which one would fit. It will be helpful for all of us to have a good understanding of these people groups and some of their characteristics so that our enraged labeling will be more precise. A recent trip to GA clued me in on this tricotomy of personalities. For example...my folks and brother and i ... country. The two guys riding around without their shirts off...flying down the dirt road that i was jogging on... with john boat in the back of their beat up truck that was filled with smell of beer and skoal cans... redneck. a person i know who has lived in the same single wide trailer that he bought when he was a student at UGA 30 yrs ago...got married and hauled the same trailer back down to south GA where he now resides in that same trailer...whitetrash
now it's becoming clear that there are differences...
Country- could be definded as someone who has grown up outside of the city...maybe raised on a farm or even living on a dirt road.... slower pace of life, southern draw accent, sitting on the front porch drinking sweet tea, enjoying working in the yard or garden, playing in the woods growing up instead of a play station...things like that. I feel like i fall mostly under this category. Ex: They guy from Sweet Home Alabama, Alan Jackson
Redneck- im gonna try real hard here not to borrow from the ever popular "you might be a redneck if"... these people can be described best as carefree.... reckless/ rebel rousers...mullet...not that bright... don't know what merlot is.... after a hard day working and sweating would rather "refuel" with beer rather than a gatoraide....mullet...hates jeff gordon....beer belly....loud/brash...will pick a fight with you at a sporting event ...prob. owns a almand bros. t shirt....never fashion trendy unless sporting a camouflage t shirt that some may consider stylish but in actuality they just happened to still be in hunting attire...mullet
Ex: Larry the Cable Guy, Dale Jr. and Sr. (God rest his soul)
White trash-its funny how this last one knows no regional boundaries. They are in the south, north, east and west. White trash is more of a mindset than a people group. Its a way of life. It's not tipping your waitress cause you think it cheaper that way...it's shopping at K-mart...it's writing your pastor an anonymous hate letter with over 5 misspelled words in it...it's sitting around all day smoking 2 pks of marborl lights while watching 3 hrs of soap operas. Whitetrashism believes dignity and class are for "city folks" Every one knows someone who is whitetrash and has a good story to prove it.
Ex: Joe Dirt, Rozanne
So now we have a framework to work with. . All of those, " you country bumkin!" or " gosh what freaking redneck" or my favorite, " ugh that was so whitetrash", will have more meaning and better placement.
